Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
