Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
