We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
