I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
