nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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