Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
