She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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