I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
