Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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