yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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