so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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