Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
