We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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