dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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