Just fell off a train. Bad.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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