I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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