Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
