Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
