Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
