She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
