brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
