He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
