Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
