is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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