just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
