Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
