Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He passed out mid-signature
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
