Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
