If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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