Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
