Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
