if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she told me i tasted like america
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
