Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
