the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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