she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
