I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
