Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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