One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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