I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
