I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
