I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
