Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
