just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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