do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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