don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
