hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
