Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
