i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
