So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
