Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
