it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Too much gin, very little bucket
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Idk if I want to put a bra on
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
