I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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