How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
