I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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