i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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